Pick Your Date
by bashou-chan
Summary: Shoot me--now. Please. I wrote this a long time ago. I thought it was mildy funny at first. I do not think so now. Dating show humour is so cheesy. Forgive me. I'm working on somehting better!


Authors Note: I don't know what I was thinking. So don't ask. Usual disclaimers apply. Watase Yuu is my goddess, Amiboshi is my boyfriend, Tasuki is my best friend, and Nuriko and Chichiri are my big brothers. I wrote this before when my pen name was Mish No Da (gross, ne?) Excuse the blatant self-inclusion ^__^;;;  
  
Warning: Cheese-factor: In the stars. Bad humour.  
  
Note: [.] denotes muttering. (.) denotes actions *.* author comment / emphasis  
  
  
  
Pick Your Date  
  
Tasuki: What am I doing here? I HATE girls!  
  
Mish No Da: Demo...Tasuki-chan.....you love Miaka don't you?  
  
Tasuki: I don't like Miaka!! And dating shows are stupid..  
  
Mish No Da: Ohhh....yokatta...how admirable!  
  
Tasuki: Nani?  
  
Mish No Da: Well, of course, you don't want to cheat on Kouji-san, ne?  
  
Tasuki: NANI?!?!!?  
  
******  
  
Mish No Da: (promptly ignoring Tasuki) Ohyo, minna! Welcome to the special casting of the FY crew on Pick Your Date... our lucky girl today will be Yuuki Miaka!  
  
Miaka: Ohyo!  
  
Mish No Da: Let me introduce you to the three contenders - show the crowd no da!  
  
Crowd: oooohhh....aaaahhh..  
  
Mish No Da: Now lets have Miaka meet the three lucky guys!  
  
Guy #1: Ohyo, Miaka! Watashi wa -  
  
Mish No Da: o_O BAKA!! You can't tell who you are!!  
  
Guy #1: (cowers) g-gomen nasai, Mish No Da! Ok, ok, I think you should pick me 'cause I can cook! And because I love to eat too, Miaka....  
  
Mish No Da: Arigatou, now for Guy #2!  
  
Guy #2: [what am I doing here?! I hate girls!!]  
  
Huh?? Oh.uhh.oh-hy-yo Miaka! Uhh.I could take you shopping! Mish No Da promised me money if you chose me! [But you never know with that conniving * bleep * Mish.stupid gi - ]  
  
Mish No Da: Nani no da?!  
  
Tasuki: (whistling)...betsuunniii....  
  
Miaka: Mish No Da?  
  
Mish No Da: Uhh...* sigh * ok Miaka, meet Guy #3!  
  
Guy #3: Ohyo Miaka! I like long walks and I love folk songs. I am also very talented at the flute too!  
  
Mish No Da: (glint in her eye) ohh....Miaka-san, I'd snatch him up right away!  
  
Guy #3: (visibly pales)  
  
***  
  
Miaka: Mish No Da, can I ask my questions now?  
  
Mish No Da: Just a sec no da. We're on commercial no da.  
  
Miaka: WAAAAHHHH.Mish is so mean! Why...(sob) can't...(sob) I..(sniff)....ask my questions?!?!  
  
Mish No Da: * sigh * Miaka-san, don't cry no da. Just wait a couple minutes no da.  
  
Miaka: Ta-Tamahomeeeeee!!!  
  
Mish No Da: Miaka-san, calm down no da - chotto matte, we're on no da! Ok, Miaka-san, now you can ask our contestants your questions!  
  
Miaka: (sniffle) I don't WANNA!  
  
Mish No Da: o_O nani?!  
  
[Why is she so difficult??]  
  
Yui: I got an idea Mish No Da!  
  
Mish No Da: Yui? Where did you come from?  
  
Yui: Keisuke sent me to shut his BAKA of a sister up! I have an idea Mish No Da!  
  
Mish No Da: What?  
  
Yui: Miaka, you and your date can join me and Tetsuya at the all you can eat sushi bar! * mmm....yummmmm.... *  
  
Miaka: Yatja! Ok, Yui-chan, you promised!  
  
Mish No Da: [...she's a walking stomach..]  
  
oh, Miaka! Questions, now? I'm afraid you'll only have enough time for one question per person no da.  
  
Miaka: Ok! #1: What would you cook for me, and how would you make it special?  
  
Guy #1: I would cook all your favourite foods AND eat you with it!  
  
Miaka: O_O ...n - nani...??  
  
Mish No Da: ...ditto no da.  
  
Guy #1: I...I mean...I'll eat it with you! ...by candlelight..^_^;;  
  
Miaka: OH! Ok...#2: Where would you take me shopping and why?  
  
Guy #2: Uhh.I would take you anywhere you want, Miaka! Because I aim to please you!  
  
[S***...where did THAT cheesy line come from?! ...Mish No Da!! _#]  
  
Mish No Da: [(cackles gleefully) Nani, Tasuki no da? Of course you know, since this IS my fic, I can make you do anything! (a mysterious glint shines in her eyes)]  
  
Tasuki: (turns black and white)  
  
[ ...w - where have I seen that glint before..?? * shudder *]  
  
Miaka: (oblivious to the exchange between Tasuki and Mish No Da)  
  
#3: What would you do on our first date to win me over?  
  
Guy #3: I would serenade you with my flute!  
  
Yui: (smacks #3 upside the head) Baka! If you want her, you should say something involving food!  
  
Guy #3: * whine * but then I wouldn't be original..!  
  
Suboshi: Aniki! Don't be disrespeactful to Yui-sama!  
  
Yui: Suboshi? Where did you come from?  
  
Suboshi: Eee..Yui-sama!! (promptly glomps onto Yui)  
  
Yui: Suboshi!! Gerroff me!! Mish No Da! Why did you bring him here?!  
  
Mish No Da: (shrugs) I guess yo-yo boy just wanted to join the party..oh, by the way, here comes Tetsuya-san!  
  
Yui: Tetsuya! _# SUBOSHI!! GEROFF ME!! (proceeds to beat Suboshi up)  
  
Suboshi: ...I - itaiiii!!!!  
  
Mish No Da: (sigh) and getting back to the show...Miaka no da? You need to pick out your date to go to sushi with Yui-sama and Tetsuya-san no da.  
  
Suboshi: She's going with me!  
  
Yui: Shut up Suboshi! (Resumes beating him)  
  
Suboshi: Itaiii.Yui-sama! Haha..I didn't know you felt that way! It feels goood..  
  
Miaka: O_O  
  
Mish: O_O  
  
Yui: O_O ...NANI?!  
  
Suboshi: ..I like strong women..heeeeeeehehehhe....  
  
Yui: Nakago!  
  
* Poof *  
  
  
  
Nakago: Hai, Yui-sama. (looks at Suboshi groveling at Yui's feet) Yokatta, Yui-sama.  
  
Suboshi: Aie!! Nakago!! Itaii!!!!! (a whip is heard cracking in the background)  
  
Yui: (smirk) Gomen, Mish No Da, you can continue.  
  
Mish No Da: ^_^;; ok..Miaka?  
  
Miaka: Hai! I think I'll go with Guy #1!!  
  
Mish No Da: Ok, lucky Guy #1, come meet Miaka!  
  
Guy #1: Miaka! Watashi wa -  
  
Everyone: ASHITARE?!?!  
  
Miaka: @_@ (lays on the ground, twitching)  
  
Ashitare: Nani? Of course she would pick me, I'm strong, charming, and beautiful! (takes out a mirror)  
  
Mish No Da: [.he's been taking lessons from Hotohori-san.^_^;;]  
  
Nakago: Ashitare!! (once again, a whip is heard cracking in the background)  
  
Ashitare: Itaiiii!!!!  
  
Miaka: WAAAAAAHHHHH!! Now I don't have anyone to go with to sushi!! TAMAHOMEEEEEEEEE!!!!  
  
Mish No Da: err....Tamahome is not available no da.  
  
Miaka: Dosh de??  
  
(Mish No Da points at Nakago-sama)  
  
(question marks flash around Miaka's head)  
  
Nakago: He's at my house.  
  
Miaka: (blink blink) why?  
  
Nakago: (sneering) You should not concern yourself of this matter, Suzaku No Miko.  
  
Suboshi: It - it couldn't be!! Y - Y - YAOI!!!! (The whip changes from Ashitare to Suboshi) Itttaaaaaiiii!!!!!  
  
(Everyone face vaults)  
  
Yui: ...eeeeewwwww....  
  
Mish No Da: Aie no da, this is getting way out of hand no da.  
  
Tasuki: Miaka, I will take you to sushi.  
  
[Nani?! No I won't! * whine * I don't wanna, Mish No Da!!]  
  
Mish No Da: (sigh) Tasuki, you're right of course.  
  
Tasuki: (beaming) Yeah!  
  
Mish No Da: Ami-chan will take Miaka to sushi.  
  
Amiboshi: Hai, Mish-sama. Miaka, shall we go?  
  
Miaka: Hai!!! (they walk out hand in hand)  
  
Mish No Da: Now, Tasu-chan.(glint in her eye)  
  
Tasuki: Nani, Mish No Da?  
  
[Where have I seen that glint?! Oh.oh no! S***!! It's the same as those other crazed hentai fan chicks!!]  
  
Mish No Da: You can call me Mi-chan ^_^ You're coming out to lunch with me!  
  
(Meanwhile the rest of the crew still lay twitching on the floor, while Nakago looks around smugly)  
  
Tasuki: No way! I'm not going out to lunch with a hentai chick!  
  
Mish No Da: Hey no da! I resent that no da! Im only 15!  
  
Taskui: So? Miaka's only 15 and look at what she's doing with Obake-chan!  
  
(somewhere in Nak's house, Tamahome sneezes)  
  
Mish No Da: True no da..in THAT case...(promptly glomps onto Tasuki, dragging him outside the studio)  
  
Tasuki: Aiiiiiieeeee!!!! 


End file.
